Bye Bye Bernie

So, what's up with Bernie Madoff? I keep calling and calling, and he refuses to answer my invitations to play golf or have lunch. I've told him I'll pick up the check. I mean, I read the papers. I know he and his wife are down to their last $67 million. And with no job opportunities likely in this recession that Obama has caused (God, I hope Rush can get us out of this!!), Bernie and his wife have to guard their money. I mean, who knows how long it'll be until people get back on their feet enough financially, for Bernie to be able to swindle them some more? And $67M doesn't go anywhere as far as it used to? Geez, have you seen the price of milk, or eggs, or private islands?

Now, I've got a few ideas about why 'Ol Bernie is in the situation he's in. Frankly, I'm amazed he got caught at all, though. Sure, that Markopolos guy was telling the Securities and Exchange Commission about BM (my pet name for Bernie) about 8 years ago. Had all the facts and figures to prove that BM was guilty of running a Ponzi scheme, too. And, btw, is it just me, or does that Ponzi thing sound like some kind of plan for Henry Winkler to imitate the Pope? Anyway... Markopolos told them about 5-6 different times and, naturally, they did what they're supposed to do with the information. They ignored it. I mean, they're good Americans, right? And, naturally, since some of them (the SEC guys) have at least finished college, they're not stupid. So they understood that, if you go and squeal on a big player like BM, that's not gonna be good for America, or for their careers. Who's gonna hire the guy who started the second great depression by taking down a sweet guy like BM? I know I wouldn't. And, not squealing, is soooo the American way.

America is a country founded on power. Some people have it and most people don't. And that's the way it should be. You don't want your power base spread out too thin. Otherwise, dumb, ordinary people will think they're important and that their decisions matter. I mean, do you want the OctoMom dictating foreign policy or what? That's what I thought... So the thing about having the power, is not letting people know when you have it. And these SEC guys respected that. They were sure not gonna blow the whistle on someone as "made" as BM. Who knows who he's connected to? I mean, his third cousin could be their boss. Or he might have been friends with a bunch of Washington types. That could get a mere SEC middle management guy a one way trip to Gitmo. We've all seen Harold and Kumar, right? So, no, best to play along. Let BM do what he wants. I mean, he's not hurting anybody. It's just some rich people's money. And they can spare it. There's plenty of young entrepenaurs in Indonesia who love to put in the 20 hours days to make more, so no problem.

No, these SEC guys were doing the right thing. Not informing on anything is the way to go. You can never tell who you might offend. And offending people can be bad for you. And what's more important than you after all? So no, if you know about some kind of "law breaking", whatever that is, then you should do the proud American thing. Keep it to yourself. Otherwise, first thing you know, other people will be reporting things and that's the edge of a very slippery slope that would have decent upstanding Americans so afraid to do anything wrong that they'd allow themselves to be forced into living by a some kind of code of decency, or laws, or some other whacky idea. I shudder at the thought.

Hey Bernie - call me!